Thursday, June 5, 2014
Smoking is Bad, Chantix is Cruel
This awful headache that never goes away. It's not a migraine, and it's not a tension headache. The closest kind I can compare it to would be a concussion headache.
Extreme fatigue. And I mean, I'm falling asleep randomly throughout the day, going to bed before 8pm most nights, and waking up still tired.
In the first week, I was all surprised to have an appetite. That's gone. I eat, because if I don't eat, this stuff really makes me sick. Nothing sounds good.
Ohhh, smells. I know this one is because of the lack of cigarettes, and not necessarily the Chantix, but whoooooo-eeeee, smells. Huge dislike for that one. Even good smells are just way too strong. Yuck. Gross. I may have to plug my nose up with a clothespin or something.
Sounds. So, along with feeling really tired all the time, I'm also REALLY on edge. Sounds are the worst. Yesterday, I opened a water bottle, and the sound of the cap unscrewing made me want to scream. Imagine every sound you hear in a day, magnified a thousand times, and then imagine several of those piled up on top of each other. And THEN imagine that some of those sounds are actual conversations that you need to be participating in, without squinching up your face, covering your ears, or cringing and wincing away.
I still want to smoke. I miss it. The worst times are when I have coffee, or after I eat food. I haven't driven much since starting this stuff, but I'm sure it'll be the same for driving.
You know how I said I'm on edge? Yeah. Pretty much everything I read makes me over-the-top angry. I actually blogged about everything that was pissing me off, a couple days ago, but I've deleted it, because I'm pretty sure it would have alienated, and/or hurt the feelings of, every single person I know. (Not really, but more than half, for sure.) I'm also much more prone to get my feelings hurt lately, which is dumb, but not something I can help.
Sleeping. Uhhh, man. So I do go to sleep really early, but I wake up a LOT during the night, mostly because I'm talking loudly or shouting. The dreams are basically reality. I mean, it's very hard to tell the difference, even once I'm awake. So far nothing too awful, but every one of them is like being awake and experiencing real things.
I think that's it for now. Honestly, I was hoping that Chantix would make it so I didn't miss cigarettes, but I guess that's not how it's gonna be.