Saturday, January 31, 2015

Day 31

Look!!!!!   A real living room!!!!

Friday, January 30, 2015

Day 30

I have an actual living room... And table and chairs to eat at!

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Days 28-29

Well, crap. Looks like the days got away from me again.  Busy, busy week.  Work, kids, legal stuff, new home stuff, more work.  
Yesterday I took the day off, and it would have been lovely, except that I spent it catching up on everything I couldn't get to before.  Well, trying to catch up.  I need at least one more open day like that, and then maybe I won't feel so all-over-the-place.  

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Day 27

Also I can't make a simple decision, rarely know what day of the week it is, and feel completely overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to do still.  

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Day 26

Ohhhhhh, I am a storm sometimes...but these days, I'm the dark and quiet calm before the storm.  xo

Day 25

Gorgeous morning for making music

Day 24

Last night was the first night my kids were with me at the new place.  We had a blast. 

Friday, January 23, 2015

Day 23

Woke up feeling very lonely after my first night in the new place.  The woods helped, and talking to my mom on the phone did, too.  

Day 22

It's coming together, slowly but surely.  My whole body hurts from moving stuff, I woke up yowling! 

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Day 21

Moving day. That is all.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Day 20

I'm at work.... For once I'm someplace that has wifi.  There's a tv blaring, over the noise of my client's breathing machine. I don't know how he stays asleep.  Why am I here if he's sleeping? Because he wakes up, and when he does, he's very confused and frightened...and it's my job to reassure him and make him feel safe.  Can I have a me? I need to be reassured...I need to feel safe...  
Here I go, on that boo-hoo path, so, I'll change the subject.  
My client before this snoozing fellow is high-energy, nonstop chattering, and has dementia.  
While I was with her this evening, I noticed her rubbing the bottom of her shoe, and then smelling her fingers. (I know, so gross) 
So I asked her, "How's it smell?" and she said, "Like goose doodles!"  and then almost fell right over with gales of laughter.  I'm glad she's a happy person so far. 
I guess that's all... Here is a picture of my beautiful niece, Rose. Because, lookit!

Days 14-19 (oops)

Oh, wow. Time got away from me.  I don't even know how that happened...wait...I guess it's all the overnight shifts I've been taking.  
Anyway, top to bottom: (they're not in order, crap.) 
Had to scrape ice off my windshield this morning after work. Neato!
Spent some time in the woods this weekend, and came back with bones and a new turtle shell.
Living room in the place I'm moving into.
Maisy - the bus my ex bought for me, then took back when he saw the marriage was's just sitting in his back yard, rotting.  Looks like it's crying, too.  What a waste.
And, my awesome argyle socks. The end.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Day 13

This was a few weeks ago, but I'm allowing it for today's post, because I'm wearing and doing exactly the same thing today...the only difference is, my kids are in school, so I was actually able to sleep this morning when I got back from work. *yawn*
Okay, time to get up and do something useful.... 

Monday, January 12, 2015

Day 12

I'm going today to fill out a rental application.... Game on!!!!  I realized yesterday, this will be my first time doing it (living!) on my own since I was 17.  And when I was 17, it didn't to so well...but it will this time.  It must.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Day 11

White feathers covered the ground like patches of snow this morning... I circled around to the back of the chicken coop, already knowing what I would find. Poor, poor chicken. 

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Day 10

Pins n needles about starting a new life.  Terrified and beyond excited, all at once.  Eeeeeeeee!

Friday, January 9, 2015

Day 9

Too tired. Don't wanna.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Day 8.5 (Ha)

I just want to ask.  What is UP with all the rejected fat men posting that stupid video in which a man stands there and charts women: from how pretty they are to how crazy they are, and basically he's saying there's no such thing as a hot sane woman. (I would link to the thing, but I promise you it's a complete waste of time and I think I actually lost some brain cells while I watched it, so I'll spare you the agony.)
I mean whatever.  We all know misogyny is rampant, even in these enlightened times, but I swear I've only seen the sad fat dudes posting this crap. Grow up, guys.  Please.  Or rather, MAN up.  And lose some damned weight while you're at it.  Might give you a chance at one of the hotter, less insane women. *tongue in cheek*
Oh, OH! Can I make a chart about fat dickheads? No? Ehh...I have better things to do anyway. 
Like being hot AND sane. Yep.  I'm a unicorn. BYE!

Day 8


Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Day 7

On this day, sixteen years ago, a little hero entered the world and changed my life forever, having saved it first by his very existence.  I am so, so proud to call him my son. He has an incredible future ahead of him! 

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Day 6

Here's how it went.  Slept Friday night.  Stayed awake on Saturday cuz I had to do stuff, worked Saturday night, slept 3 hours on Sunday...which was the last time I slept before I went to bed at 10:30 this morning.  This is Tuesday? Yeah.  Yeah.  Yesterday during the day, the kids were home, I did laundry and dishes and made a great dinner before I went to come home to this.... I'm so tired, I'm not even mad. Just... Haha! I laughed out loud when I walked in this morning and saw this ridiculousness.

Monday, January 5, 2015

Day 5


Sunday, January 4, 2015

Day 4

Work, work, work.  All overnights.  I'm not complaining, but it is exhausting. 12 hour shifts, usually three in a row.  It won't always be like this, but right now, I need to work as much as I possibly can, because you know. The near future. 

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Day 3

Spent some time in the woods this morning... Fire and coffee in the drizzle.  It was nice to breathe for a minute. 

Friday, January 2, 2015

Day 2

I found this mobile home less than a mile from where I live now, which is pretty's also a little bit cheaper than the other ones I was looking at which were about 20 minutes away, and also the rent includes water, sewer, trash pickup, and yard care... I called and left a voicemail, and I superduper hope they get back to me soon, so that I can at least know I have somewhere to go.  Do I have the money for first and last month's rent? No.  But I guess I'll figure that part out when the time comes. 

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Day 1 - January 1st, 2015

I fear that I might have decided to do another 365 day photo/ramble blog.  Fair warning:  It might get a little depressing once in awhile, especially at the beginning.  Everyone is posting on Facebook today about hope and a new year and blessings, and about how this year will be so much better than last year, and I'm stuck in this world in which the day or month or year really doesn't matter.  I've always been pretty blunt and very honest about my life... or quiet, if I feel like the things I might say will be too dark. 
I've been in a sort of limbo for quite awhile, not knowing what the future will bring, and honestly, terrified about it.  By the end of this month, I will either be homeless, or I will be living in a piece of shit mobile home that I'll hardly be able to afford... I almost prefer the homeless option. 
I don't feel hopeful about this new year.  I don't feel like "blessings" are coming, I don't feel like it will be better than 2014.  The only thing I feel is a deep, awful foreboding of what's to come.