Anyway, not much new to report. I still want to smoke, but not as much as before. Last week, it felt like every second of every day, I was thinking about cigarettes. Also, when I think about smoking now, the first thought is, "I really want a cigarette." followed by "That sounds so gross."
Last weekend, this drunk girl who I'd told about my endeavor, actually said, "Hold this!" at one point, and handed.me.her.cigarette. Amazingly, I didn't smoke it. Not even a little bit. When I saw her the next day, I told her about it, she apologized, and I said, "Nooo, you did me a favor! I'm pretty proud of myself right now."
I think the worst part of this whole thing is feeling so tired and crappy all the time. You'd think I'd be used to that by now, but nope. Chantix makes it a lot worse.
Emotionally, I don't feel as grumpy as I did last week. I think I'm sleeping better. I don't remember whole dreams, just bits and pieces mostly.
Psychologically, I feel like I always feel. Which probably isn't "normal", but it's MY normal, so I'm okay with it.
I think that's it. I hope this works. I'm not sure I'll be able to continue the next two months, for financial reasons. But we'll see how things turn out.
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