It's such a cold, rainy day... I made a loaded baked potato soup and it was perfect!
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Had some pretty rough nightmares last night. Mostly because I fell asleep remembering one of the worst times of my former marriage...wondering why, why in the world didn't I call the cops when it happened...that time...the kids were so terrified, they were hiding in their closet...that time of broken walls, broken doors, smashed door jambs, shattered wooden chair, broken hardwood floor...that time when I cried so hard I couldn't stand up...why didn't I call for help? A million reasons, and none of them good. Be BRAVE. Be smart. Don't second guess yourself. Sometimes it's okay to put away the Nice, and do what needs to be done.... I didn't.... I wish I had.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
This is my ex. How can he call himself a single dad, when he doesn't do anything?? I have the kids every day after school, even on "his" nights, until whenever he decides to get back to his house. He pays no child support, doesn't help with food, doesn't contribute to the gas I use going back and forth from my house to his, 3 times every day.
When he does have the kids, he doesn't spend time with them. I know this, because I've seen it, and because they tell me.
I take them to their friends' houses, their doctor appointments, I go to their parent/teacher conferences, their performances at school, and their games.
I make sure they get clean and brush their teeth. They were out of toothpaste at his house for over a week, mostly because he doesn't brush his own teeth, so the concern about his kids' teeth is zero.
I make sure homework gets done and that they wear coats to school on cold days.
I'm completely mystified that someone can call themselves a single dad, when they do so very little to actually parent their kids.
Do I call myself a single mom? No. Because even though I do everything for them, they do have a dad, and he is in their lives. Barely. But he is.
It's insulting to me that he can crow about being a single dad, when I know the truth of things.
Monday, February 23, 2015
Sunday, February 22, 2015
A friend and I were texting, and she was relaying the things she'd suffered in a previous marriage, and spoke about how long it took her to finally get away from the violent man.
I always feel like my wounds are less than others', because I didn't get punched or choked or slapped.... But when she said, "Kudos to you, my dear, for freeing yourself from the black eyes no one sees... I'm uber proud of you.", I burst into sobs.
The black eyes no one sees..... It was validating and somehow really beautiful, to be understood by someone. Understood to the core.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Friday, February 20, 2015
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Monday, February 16, 2015
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Monday, February 9, 2015
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Saturday, February 7, 2015
First of all, none of them even want to go to his house. They love it here. Second of all, the evil side of me really wanted to send my response at 6:30 this morning....but as usual, the good side of me won out.
When I was leaving his house with the kids yesterday, he told me he'd tried to claim me on his taxes, and was rejected. "It lost me $300." he said. I thought to myself two things. One, "Thank god I already filed mine!!" and two, "That almost makes up for the $400 utility bill he left me to pay..." UGH. Gotta let this stuff go. Anger is not anyone's friend.
Also, as we were leaving, he yelled to Jonas, "Too bad you have to go to mom's house! I've got steak and ice cream!" I turned around and said, "He doesn't have to come to my house. He wants to."
*edit* How it ended up. (Had to take Jonas to get his stuff for football):
Friday, February 6, 2015
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Finally!!! Bunkbeds! That's my bed to the left, so you can see why bunks were absolutely necessary in my (the girls') room. Hoping to get the boys' bunks set up soon. Also, hooray for a day off work! Not that I'm doing nothing, though. I'm doing all the things I haven't had time to do yet.