Day 6

Here's how it went.  Slept Friday night.  Stayed awake on Saturday cuz I had to do stuff, worked Saturday night, slept 3 hours on Sunday...which was the last time I slept before I went to bed at 10:30 this morning.  This is Tuesday? Yeah.  Yeah.  Yesterday during the day, the kids were home, I did laundry and dishes and made a great dinner before I went to work....to come home to this.... I'm so tired, I'm not even mad. Just... Haha! I laughed out loud when I walked in this morning and saw this ridiculousness.

Day 5

Snuggles

Day 4

Work, work, work.  All overnights.  I'm not complaining, but it is exhausting. 12 hour shifts, usually three in a row.  It won't always be like this, but right now, I need to work as much as I possibly can, because you know. The near future. 

Day 3

Spent some time in the woods this morning... Fire and coffee in the drizzle.  It was nice to breathe for a minute. 

Day 2

I found this mobile home less than a mile from where I live now, which is pretty great...it's also a little bit cheaper than the other ones I was looking at which were about 20 minutes away, and also the rent includes water, sewer, trash pickup, and yard care... I called and left a voicemail, and I superduper hope they get back to me soon, so that I can at least know I have somewhere to go.  Do I have the money for first and last month's rent? No.  But I guess I'll figure that part out when the time comes. 

Day 1 - January 1st, 2015

I fear that I might have decided to do another 365 day photo/ramble blog.  Fair warning:  It might get a little depressing once in awhile, especially at the beginning.  Everyone is posting on Facebook today about hope and a new year and blessings, and about how this year will be so much better than last year, and I'm stuck in this world in which the day or month or year really doesn't matter.  I've always been pretty blunt and very honest about my life... or quiet, if I feel like the things I might say will be too dark. 
I've been in a sort of limbo for quite awhile, not knowing what the future will bring, and honestly, terrified about it.  By the end of this month, I will either be homeless, or I will be living in a piece of shit mobile home that I'll hardly be able to afford... I almost prefer the homeless option. 
I don't feel hopeful about this new year.  I don't feel like "blessings" are coming, I don't feel like it will be better than 2014.  The only thing I feel is a deep, awful foreboding of what's to come. 

Don't Wanna Talk About It

Back on Chantix.  Head hurts.  All the time.  Stupid Chantix.