"the age of shame"

i believe that shame is something we teach our children.
it is not something that they are born with.
consider tribes in the world where nakedness is ordinary,
even among adults. they do not walk around shielding themselves
from others' sight. they go about their daily duties without giving
any thought to their nakedness.
i believe that there is no "age of shame". it is beaten into us
from when we are young, because of the culture we live in.
i believe that if i didn't teach my children shame, they would
relish their nakedness and choose it over clothing.
what has our culture done to our innocence? why is our culture
so full of shame? why aren't certain other cultures ashamed to
be naked?
i believe that we will be naked in heaven, and that we will have
no shame in our nakedness. yes, we'll be "clothed" in light,
but our new and perfect bodies will shine through the light...

clean

i asked jonas to clean his room - it was disgusting, filled with trash and dust and clay mashed into the carpet. he howled and cried and told me "it's not that dirty! it's too hard to clean! i need your help!"
so together we made is room spotless. he stood, looking around and breathed a long sigh. "i feel so much better now, mom" he told me. "from now on, i will not throw trash around my room, and i will clean it every week so that it never gets this bad again."
it reminded me of myself - i was dirty and messy and sinful, and Jesus said, "you need to be clean, bonnie." i howled and cried and told Him, "i'm not that dirty! it's too hard to get clean! i'll need your help!"
so He scrubbed and dusted and cleaned me, and when He was finished, i stood, looked around, and breathed a long sigh. "i feel so much better now," i told Him. "from now on, i will try to stay clean..."
i didn't realize how bad it really was, until it was gone. now i feel emotional peace, soul-peace.

it only takes one drop
to start a waterfall,
it only takes one sunbeam
to make a rainbow,
it only takes one flower
to make a tree beautiful,
it only takes one kernel
to produce ears of corn,
it only takes one person
to cause change to happen,
so i can be that drop,
that sunbeam, that flower,
that kernel, that person -
to change everything.

time

on the day the time changes forward,
everything seems to slow down.
crowds are smaller, traffic is lighter...
churches are basically empty.
neighborhoods are silent,
kids are quieter, pets more sluggish...
even the birds seem different on
the day the time changes forward.

sweet moments in the morning

this morning brought me a small piece of delight.
willow and sahara sleeping in my bed...
willow starts to fuss, and sahara curls around her
and cuddles her, looking so protective.
these moments are my joy.

in order of importance

"read to me, mommy!"
"not right now, babe."
"play with me, mommy!"
"i'm busy right now."
"look at me, mommy!"
"i am trying to do my BIBLE STUDY!"

... it is a hard lesson that i have learned. kids, my kids must ALWAYS come first. a bible study, a book, a magazine, cleaning, cooking, all of these things are less important than filling up my dear ones' little hearts. god forgive me for the times that i have put other things first.